The Missing Ingredient

By Ava Simone Collier

Lavita Stokes is speaking passionately about her book, A Father’s Love. “The book is my story. It’s about me not having a father in my life. I want to show fathers the important role they play in their children’s lives.” In A Father’s Love, Lavita shares intimately about her life without a father and the impact its impact. “It’s always been a passion for me to put the father back in the family. I grew up without a father in my life. I was raised by my grandmother. My mother was in and out of the house sporadically. When she was there, she wasn’t present mentally.” Lavita explained that it affected every being of her life by not having her father around. She states that the most positive male in her life when she was growing up was her grandmother’s brother. “Uncle Ernest became the father that I never had.”

“Even if he can’t be in the home, a father still needs to be in a child’s life,” Lavita continues. Fathers shape and mold who we become and how we see the world in general.” She further stated that as children, we are always seeking validation from our fathers. “Some of the statistics available show that eighty five percent of children who have behavioral problems live in fatherless homes.” Lavita says that people don’t understand why some children act out in school. Many times these children have a lack of validation at home. She further stated that many young girls who are promiscuous are seeking love that they did not receive from their fathers. “Seventy percent of African American children are born out of wedlock. Fathers need to understand the role that they play in their children’s lives. If he’s not there, they look in other areas. So many young men join gangs because the gang leader gives the boy the validation that he should be getting from his father.”

“So many women grew up without a father and wanted that father’s love. That’s why so many women choose to stay in abusive relationships because they equate any love with love. ‘Even if he beats me, he still shows me love.’ ” Lavita is passionate when she speaks about the need for fathers to be present in their children’s lives. She said, “Proverbs 17:6 says ‘Children’s children are crown of old men and the glory of children is their father.’ ” Lavita feels that this proverb speaks about children representing the greatest treasure that a man can have and that the child is eternally connected to that parent biblically. “It’s never too late to be the father that you are capable of being to that child.”

To purchase a copy of Lavita’s book, go to her website: afatherslovebook.com. Also you can find it on Barnes and Noble and Amazon websites and at Ambersbooks.com