“First and foremost, baby, I am a stand up comic!” declares Mo’Nique. It was like talking with a girlfriend over a cup of coffee or lunch. Mo’Nique just has a way of making you feel comfortable and relaxed. There were no signs of a diva, although she’s has certainly earned the right to be one if she chose. Instead, this is a woman who, despite her many successes and accomplishments, remains uniquely REAL. We talked about her Academy Award winning performance in Precious. Mo’Nique portrayed the highly dysfunctional, abusive mother of Clarice “Precious” Jones, played by newcomer Gabourey Sidibe. This role was a dramatic departure from Mo’Nique’s more familiar comedic roles. When I asked her what went into preparation as Mary Jones, she explained. “In reading the book and then the script, I was very excited about that role and the message. The moment we knew what it was, we knew that it was going to change lives. When director Lee Daniel’s would say ‘Action’, we knew we couldn’t sugar coat Mary Jones. She’s very real.” Mo’Nique spoke about her personal painful experience of being molested by her brother. “Coming from being molested by my oldest brother, I knew who that ‘monster’ was. It was that ‘monster’ coming to life. We knew people would look on that screen and see themselves.”

This Academy Award, Golden Globe and NAACP Image Award winning actress is a no-nonsense, keep-it-real sista’. She doesn’t seek the approval or accolades that often come with such accomplishments. She is also the host of The Mo’Nique Show, a nightly talk show on BET. Although Mo’Nique’s physical appearance has changed by her successful weight loss, her vivacious, confident and effervescent personality has not. “I don’t know who else to be. It would be too much energy to be someone different. When I look in the mirror I don’t want to be confused at who’s looking back at me. I don’t want to say ‘Who are you?’ ” We talked about the universal message in Precious and how it relates to everyone. Mo’Nique feels that this was only a story about one woman and her family. However, she states that abuse is pervasive and has no color or gender. “You can go to any point on the face of this earth where human beings are and this goes on. It almost makes you say ‘wow are we still caught up in that?’ We get caught up in two black women who live in the projects that are on food stamps. Well you know what? There ARE black women who live in the projects on food stamps who treat their children poorly. There are also white women with millions of dollars living in the midst of Beverly Hills who treat their children poorly.” Mo’Nique further explained that abuse is abuse regardless. “Watching this movie, you could relate to either Mary or Precious. If not yourself, then you know someone who was. We aren’t that far removed from that.”

At the Academy Awards, Mo’Nique wore a beautiful blue gown with a gardenia in her hair. She stated that it was in honor of Hattie McDaniel, who played “Mammy” in Gone with the Wind in 1939. She was the first African American to ever win an Academy Award. At the awards that year, Ms. McDaniel wore a blue dress with a gardenia in her hair. I asked Mo’Nique what she thought about the controversy that African Americans have won awards for portraying negative, stereotypical roles, such as Denzel Washington in Training Day, Halle Berry in Monster’s Ball and even Hattie McDaniel for playing a slave. Mo’Nique stated, “For people who say ‘Oh my goodness! You won this award for playing a project mother,’ I say do your research. Most times when we win those awards it’s because you’ve played the “grit” - the opposite of whom you really are. I wish the day would come when we don’t get so caught up in those things. At what point do we just say, ‘Wow! We got the trophy!’ ”

Mo’Nique is speaking about how she remains remarkably humble and unphased by her notoriety. “If we become selfish and think that it’s just about you in the moment, I feel sad for you. It’s so not about me. I think the universe says I’m glad you got it.” Mo’Nique credits her husband, Sidney Hicks, with helping her to stay grounded. “I have an amazing husband who is my best friend. He will tell me what I really need to hear, not what I want to hear. I don’t want to disappoint my family, my husband, my children or grandchildren that I have not met yet. When they write the story a hundred years from now, I think about that. I don’t want anyone to say that she was a diva, rude or inconsiderate. I don’t want those words being used behind my name. I do have my moments, baby! I have those moments in that closet by myself! God has to take me to my knees sometimes! God will say ‘Let me introduce you to me again!’ I don’t know why I’m funny or why I was able to pull that role off. It’s not a special formula. There’s nothing about me that’s special. I’m appreciative that the universe says that we’re going to use her to do this. I’m going to do all I can to make sure that I am in good graces.” 

In case there has been any doubt about Mo’Nique’s authenticity in her desire to never forget where she came from and who was there on her way up, it was evident during the post Academy Awards press conference. Mo’Nique, looking radiant while holding her well deserved Oscar, stood in front of the camera while hundreds of reporters asked questions. The viewing audience could not see the reporters, only Mo’Nique’s smiling face. The television audience could hear a voice calling out numbers indicating the order in which the reporters had the chance to ask Mo’Nique a question. Shortly into the question and answer session, Mo’Nique’s happy expression changed and was replaced by a look of dissatisfaction. She then boldly, and without hesitation, interjected and redirected the order of the reporters and their questions. I remember watching how she took charge and was so proud of her. I asked her what was going on that the viewing audience couldn’t see. “In that press room there were about 300 reporters. Only five of them were black that I could see. None of them (black press) had been called on to ask any questions. I said wait a minute, baby! How could I not talk to them when they’ve been talking to me all along! Now all of a sudden I’m gonna ignore them? No, I don’t play like that. They’ve been good to me my entire career. Now I come here and now they can’t ask me any questions? No way. I think the universe would slap me in the mouth if I acted as though I didn’t see that!”

Mo’Nique says that she has often been asked about now being “mainstream.” She says, “I ask them what does that mean? Which stream am I in right now? The stream I’m in right now is my mainstream because it’s the stream I visit frequently. If you want to come over and play in my stream, baby, you’re welcome to come.” When I asked her about the energy that she brings to The Mo’Nique Show, she stated, “When that elevator door opens up, y’all are looking at a little girl because I always dreamed of being what I am right now. We can actually play and love up on each other and do this every night? I am surprised every night by the sheer beauty of what the universe has given me. In the beginning they said I was too loud and I tried to calm it down. Then me and God had a conversation. He said I made you who you are. I get to scream and holla and it’s okay. This is the way that you get rewarded if you stay obedient. The Mo’Nique Show hasn’t been on a year and we’ve already won an award. This show is nothing but love and we won’t waiver. People say you gotta throw some dirt in there, but listen, baby, we ain’t showing nothin’ but love! When you’re obedient, the universe has a way of saying ‘We got you covered, baby!’ ” When asked what’s next, she simply said “If I just get tomorrow, baby, because I ain’t greedy. I don’t know what’s up next year because tomorrow might be gone for me. If I enjoy it today, then I won’t be mad at God if He brings me home tomorrow. I can’t say, ‘God, I told you in five years I wanted to do something with Don Cheadle. God, you trippin’!”